"Psychologically, addiction uses up desire. It is like a psychic
malignancy sucking our life energy into specific obsessions
and compulsions, leaving less and less energy available for
other people and other pursuits."
Gerald May: Addiction and Grace
The following is a list of the hallmarks of sex addiction. Not
all will apply, but every sex addict will have most of these
characteristics.
1. Use of sexual thoughts and behaviors as a primary
coping strategy.
2. Using sexual arousal as a mood altering drug.
3. Patterns of compulsive out of control sexual behavior.
4. Unsuccessful efforts to stop or control the thoughts
and behavior.
5. Tolerance build-up. It takes more and often riskier
behavior to get the same high.
6. Acting out followed by periods of control and strict
abstinence.
7. Severe mood shifts before, during, or after acting out.
8. Family history of shame and/or addiction.
9. Lacking in emotional intimacy.
10. Often victims of childhood sexual, physical or
emotional abuse.
11. Confusing sex with love.
The term sex addict is an umbrella for a host of activities
that the sex addict may engage in. It may or may not include
orgasm. The high can come from intrigue and
possibliity alone.
Some of the most common behaviors include excessive
masturbation to pornography or fantasy, cybersex,
prostitutes, strip clubs, adult book stores, massage
parlors, voyeruism, exhibitionism, affairs and serial
relationships.
An important note to loved ones of the sex addict.
Sex addicts rarely are offenders in the sense of
preying on children. Their fantasies and arousal
template are age appropriate.
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